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| My hero, my rock, my big brother Jesse. |
· Thursday October 1st, 2009 1:31 PM
I am sitting here at work listening to John Mayer’s song “Wonderland.” It’s a pretty song. I like the lyrics. This morning I walked into the office feeling very positive and thinking happy thoughts, but an hour or so later I was overcome by sadness. I had an emotional breakdown thinking about my Brother Jesse’s and the cancer he has. I am trying so hard to stay positive so he can heel. I pray to God every day to create a miracle and completely take away the cancer from my brother’s body. Jesse does not deserve this!!! I understand that nobody deserves to have cancer but ….I can’t believe my big brother has it. I mean, Jesse is the nicest person in the world. He’s not one those nice guys finish last nice….he’s a strong, loving, smart, talented nice guy. He’d do anything to protect his family. I remember when I was younger and dating this manipulating jerk. My brother Jesse wouldn’t let it happen. Thank God Jesse stepped in at the right time and made me open my eyes. I also remember back when me and my sister Eva were at a mini mart and the cashier was really rude to her. I believe that asshole called her a fat name or something. Eva got emotionally upset since she was overweight and walked out of there crying. When we got home I told Jesse about what had happened and he stormed into our parents old green Chevrolet Caprice Classic (518WAP) and speeded to the store to confront the clerk. Jesse always looks out for his sisters and especially our Mom. Dang….just the thought right now of not having him around when we get old is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LORD PLEASE CURE JESSE’s CANCER…………..PLEASE!!!! Jesse’s always done good to people, for people. He deserves to stay here on earth for many, many more years; to enjoy life. He said in the hospital that he wants to live. When he was in the hospital last week (when he wasn’t doing too good) my sister’s coworker Shawann paid a visit to Jesse and said a special prayer with Jesse. Jesse prayed a couple of verses from the bible Shawann gave to him. Just listening and seeing Jesse pray the verses made me cry. He really wants to live Lord!!! While praying the verses Jesse got emotional and a few slow tears dripped from the side of his right eye. Oh man, that was hard. A couple of days prior Jesse was in bad shape but slowly getting better, but I said to him…..”Jess don’t be afraid to tell me anything about how you feel or ask for anything” then he said…”Just make sure you take care of Mom…” and a tear rolled out of his eye. That was hard! Dear Lord…I love my brother soooooo much……I don’t want to live without him!!!! I can’t see life without Jesse here with us. I am going to be strong and positive for Jesse. He has improved since the last hospital stay. I have faith in God that he will make Jesse strong and I still do pray every day for a miracle.
· TUESDAY OCTOBER 6, 2009 9:25 AM
Dear God,
I don’t understand why this is happening to Jesse. Yesterday the doctors told him he has approximately 6 months to 1 year to live. OR sooner?? This is just crazy!! God….I don’t want my brother to die!!!!!!!!!! Lord please show us your miracle work and take away the cancer…let Jesse live many many many more years…of quality life!! I just can’t picture life without Jesse!!! =* ( Oh God….why does this have to happen? No matter what though God…I am STAYING POSITIVE!!! For Jesse’s sake. The other day I was walking laps at the park with Cindy and I started getting upset talking about Jesse’s illness. Then….a girl came jogging towards us…the front of her t shirt said in large print…STAY POSITIVE….that was totally a sign from you God. I believe you can still help Jesse Lord….again I pray to you with all my heart and powerful soul…to heal my brother Jesse..take away the cancer inside his body. I’ll be such a good person….a child of God…please Lord heal Jesse….PLEASE. Jesse’s always been my rock..I’ve always relied on truthful answers from Jess. After all he’s my big brother and I am his baby sister….he has always looked out for me.
· TUESDAY OCTOBER 13, 2009 2:22 PM
So Jesse starts his chemo treatment tomorrow. He’ll be having a 4 hr. chemo treatment on Wednesdays every two weeks. Jesse will also go on Thursdays for a shot of meds to alleviate the side effects that are associated with chemo, such as nausea, and chills. I ‘ve heard many horror stories from friends or from people in the media on how chemo makes them feel like hell! Jesse’s pretty confident that he’s going to be just fine…especially with the meds to help alleviate the symptoms from chemo. I just talked to him about 20 minutes ago. He sounded a little tired. He told me he has been waking up very early in the mornings. I asked him why? If he can’t sleep at night? He said he basically got used to the routine at the hospital. He would get woken up from the nurses around 4 am for meds or breathing treatments etc. But now he takes naps…long naps in the afternoon, which is good for him…he needs to get his rest. Dear God, I am very scared but also I am confident this chemo will work for Jesse. We’re going to plan a costumer/Halloween Birthday party for Jesse at his request!! YAY!!! He wants the party on his actual birthday of 10/30. Our brother Bobie said we could have it at his house. Cool…we’re all looking forward to it!!! <3
Peace, Love, Family and Friends….I love you GOD…I pray to you to heal my brother Jesse. “AMEN”
· MONDAY FEBRUARY 1, 2010 4:52 PM
I’m just here waiting for the clock to be 5:00 pm to head home. Jesse is doing “pretty good” as he says. About a month ago we got sad news that the chemo treatment Jesse was undergoing didn’t work at all. In fact the cancer spread a little to the lover and stomach area. This news really, really sux!!! L Jesse’s doctor Dr. Basudo wants to try a new pill for treating cancer that has helped some people with cancer. Well we found out that his billiruben levels were to high for Jesse to begin this new treatment. This was also a devastating blow! It seemed as if all we were getting for Jesse was bad news after bad news. Finally in the middle/end of January 2010 Jesse underwent another blood test and the levels (liver enzymes/billiruben) had dropped…for the better!!! Things are looking a little brighter but brighter! SO now Jesse’s doing another round of chemo for 2 weeks and then will begin taking the pill treatment after the chemo. Dear God I pray for a miracle for Jesse. I also pray that Jesse doesn’t suffer….not one bit Lord. God Bless Jesse….always. I love you God and I love my brother Jesse. Please heal him Lord. Not giving up my hope and my faith in you Lord to work a miracle for Jesse.
· April 15th, 2010
It’s been a while since I’ve written in my blog. A whole two months!! I’m just glad to report good news about Jesse. We went with Jesse to his catscan result apt on March 26th, 2010. His doctor, Dr. Bessudo spoke to all of us about the catscan results. Doc said it was good news overall…that cancer was stable and has not spread at all. OMG we were thanking GOD and so happy to hear this news!!! Right away we could see that Jesse was relieved and happy, as we were too!!! THANK YOU GOD….THANK YOU SO MUCH! WE LOVE YOU GOD…we believe and trust in you do work your miracle on Jesse…we continue to pray to you to heal Jesse and take away the cancer from his body. We know you can do wondrous things like this…and have so much faith in you. Jesse told Mary about two weeks ago that he was feeling nausea and went to throw up, and when he wasa bout to throw up he felt a strange hot heat feeling in the middle of his stomache moving up to his chest. He said that he was a bit freaked out of that feeling at first, then he threw up and after he felt a feeling of goodness about him, like he felt so good and healthy. I believe that was a healing from God. Throw up the cancer…!!!
Wednesday September 8, 2010
Dear God…THANK YOU for your miracles in my and my family’s lives. I am so thankful to you Lord for stabilizing the cancer in Jesse. The most recent cat scan (2nd cat scan) last month showed cancer was still stabilized and Doctor Bessudo was pleased. I believe in you Lord. WE believe in you Lord. PRAISE YOU…day and night. Also THANK YOU LORD for this gift of life growing in me!!! I am 4 months pregnant….THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!!!!! Jesse has another catscan next month I believe. I am going to go to that one too. I continue to pray to you Lord to heal Jesse, completely cure the cancer inside of his body. May every day that passes may more and more of the cancer dissolve and exit his body. I know you’re hearing all of our prayers for Jesse. Lord…I pray that you show the doctors and scientists the miracle cure for cancer. I pray and believe that on the next cat scan result day that Dr. Bessudo will tell us that the tumor/cancer is gone….I said GONE, no more cancer!!!! I’m believing in you Lord…this is your will. I pray, AMEN. Lord keep my baby inside me growing healthy and happy. AMEN <3
Friday November 11, 2011 – 11-11-11 J
Hello God, Hello Jesus, I love You and thank You for every blessing You have given me and my family. I thank You for extending Jesse’s life here with us his family. We all prayed and You answered. Don’t know how to thank You enough. I am so glad You are with Jesse right by his side, holding his hand through his journey to Your beautiful kingdom. We don’t know when it will happen but we as a family have been strengthened by You and by Jesse that eventually the day will come. The day will come for all of eventually and we will all be reunited because we believe in You Lord. You are our salvation. I pray to You for Jesse to be here with us for the holidays, and that his quality of life is sustainable for him. We’ve been blessed to be able to be with Jesse through his journey to be right by his side. Thank You Jesus. You know we Love Jesse so much! Jesse’s outlook remains positive. In Jesse’s own words “I’m okay with this. This is my journey.” Jesse is my hero and will always be my big brother whom I look up to. Jesse’s illness has brought our family together. It has also brought my closer to God. “It’s in God’s hands” Jesse told me and “everything is going to be all right!” AMEN. Peace, Love and Family.
